Take care of wife during pregnancy, help wife during pregnancy

​Take care of your wife during pregnancy

As pregnancy​ and childbirth are shared experiences between husbands and wives, it is important that you and your spouse work hand-in-hand and support each other. 

Here are some tips on how dads-to-be can be more involved and supportive during your wife's pregnancy: 

Rekindling the fire 

While the baby is the focus, husband and wife should still spend quality time together. Start with small steps such as making it a point to ask about each other's day or go on dates regularly to focus on yourselves as a couple. If you have children, get parents, a helper or a friend to help babysit them while you enjoy these couple times. Spending time together and talking to each another can reduce tension, stress, jealousy and insecurity you may face along the way. Most importantly, take this time to nurture and strengthen your relationship, and build a strong family foundation before your baby's arrival.​ 

​"My wife was feeling a little angsty (anxious), so I was worried she might have depression. So I have been making efforts to spice things up, such as going to the movies, taking walks with her after dinner and on weekends. It is all good for her and the baby.” – Alex Raja, husband to Gwen, 6 months pregnant.​ 

Helping your wife to manage her emotions 

Pregnant women have to cope with many changes, including the possibility of antenatal depression​, mood swings due to raging hormones, a loss of confidence or insecurity. The best way for you to help your wife is to recognise the changes she is going through, be understanding and provide a listening ear. Be aware of her emotions and if you suspect that she has antenatal blues and is not coping well with the pregnancy or is emotionally unstable, suggest she sees a doctor or a counsellor. Most importantly, be there for her.​

Communicating and making decisions together 

When dealing with difficult issues, talk to each another and work together to find a solution. Openly share about your preferences, for example, in the areas of health and child care; but be ready to take note of your wife’s concerns and provide her with your full support. Couples who are open and willing to discuss and make joint decisions can better weather the stressors of life and create a strong and stable environment for baby to grow up in. Making decisions together will also reduce your wife’s stress during pregnancy so that she will enjoy a greater sense of well-being and be less likely to suffer from depression.​ 

​"​It was strange going to antenatal class with my wife. But then there were other dads-to-be there. So it was not so bad. But it was important for me to be there with her.” – Tan Wing Chong, husband to Amanda, 5 months pregnant. 

​Doing things together 

1. Antenatal care visits 

When possible, accompany your wife for her antenatal appointments. Keep close tabs on her progress. Watching your little baby during a scan, kicking away on the screen as you hear the rhythm of his little heartbeat with your wife can be a wonderful bonding exercise. Make sure she keeps to her appointments and follows the doctor's instructions. 

2. Antenatal classes 

Attend antenatal classes with her and prepare yourself for the baby’s birth. You can pick up tips on baby ​care and meet other parents to form support groups. You can also learn to spot the signs of labour — regular contractions, a “show” and her water bag breaking — so that when these happen, you will know what to do. 

3. Reading and discussing 

Share interesting information and help each other learn more about the journey ahead. Keep track of the pregnancy, including creating a scrapbook of different milestones and the feelings felt during pregnancy. Use a journal as a fun way to share special moments. 

​"I was prepared to get scolded a lot, because my instinct is just not the same as my wife’s, and therefore I was not as responsive to her needs. I was able to reprogramme myself, so everything turned out fine. Anyway, it was good for me to be ready to adapt and work on being a more caring husband.” – Greg Leow, husband to Cristin, 8 months pregnant.​ 

Help during labour and delivery 

Your presence at the delivery​ is your wife’s best emotional support. You will also get to witness the birth of your baby with her. Discuss how you can help​ during labour. 

Here are some things that you can do: 

  • ​​Provide reassurance, moral support and encouragement 
  • Hold her hand, wipe her face, give her sips of water, listen and attend to her needs 
  • Give her a back rub 
  • Soothe her with a massage 
  • Assist her in changing positions 
  • Remind her how to use the breathing techniques during contractions 
  • If she is too exhausted to speak during childbirth, be her spokesperson 

With the birth of your newborn, you and your spouse will be turning a new chapter in your lives and become parents to your new baby. Fatherhood is going to be an exciting experience. Enjoy the ride! 

​​

Click here​ to read the original article​​​​​ in PDF format.